Work/Life Balance Without Burnout with Christine Clifton

Today’s Guest

Christine Clifton is a Work/Life Pivot partner for soul-powered entrepreneurs and professionals.
She teaches them how to “Keep their inner fire burning so they don’t burn out.”

A 20-year veteran of chronic illness with a genetic connective tissue disorder, Christine had to learn practical coping skills as well as spiritual expansion practices in order to surThrive. She became an expert at maximizing the effectiveness of her work because traditional career and business models she was taught simply exhausted her.

In addition to 20-years in the corporate world and 14 years of entrepreneurship,
Christine is a Coach U graduate and certified in two energy work practices.

This unique blend of “how to” and “woo woo” enables her to integrate
Law of Attraction principles with practical approaches to work, life, and business
so that soul-powered people can serve others more fully in all areas of their life.

She’s the author of the #1 Amazon New Release, “Get Ready. Get Set. Flow..” as well as “You don’t have to shout to Stand Out”, and “Your Spirit at Work.” She’s a sought-after speaker because of her interactive style and her lighthearted wit.

You can catch her tooling around central NC in her spice-orange, MINI Cooper Convertible named JOY, enjoying local musicians play as well as the local farm-to-table restaurants.

RESOURCES

“Get Ready. Get Set. Flow… Work/Life Integration for Soul-Powered People”

episode transcription

Heather Clark 

Welcome to Unshakable Being: inspiration and practical tools for purpose led helpers, guides and leaders like you to shift out of stress, stop going in circles, and get what you want in your life body in business. I am Dr. Heather Clark, and I’ll be your host.

Heather Clark 

Hello and welcome to the podcast. Today we have Christine Clifton, who is a work-life pivot partner for soul powered entrepreneurs and professionals. She’s the How-to of Woo Woo, and also the author of the number one Amazon new release, Get Ready, Get Set, Flow, as well as You Don’t Have to Shout to Stand Out and Your Spirit at Work. Christine, welcome to the show.

Christine Clifton 

Thanks for having me, Heather.

Heather Clark 

I’m so excited to have you on because I am very interested, of course, in helping people become unshakable. And part of being unshakable is being present in the flow of life. So I am very interested to hear your take on this.

Christine Clifton 

Awesome I can’t wait to dig in.

Heather Clark 

So let’s dig in. So what does being in the flow mean to you?

Christine Clifton 

The image that pops into my mind is floating down the lazy river. And I see myself in an inner tube. And sometimes there’s these smooth parts and sometimes they’re a little rocky. Sometimes you might even feel like you’re going backwards because you’re in an eddy or something like that. And this is life; life comes with rocky parts and swirly parts and going backward parts as well as the smooth and it’s having that centered. Ability I call it agility to go with what is thrown at you. So that’s, that’s my flow.

Heather Clark 

I love that. So what if you decide that one of your desires is maybe not exactly where this river flows to?

Christine Clifton 

Um, that’s an interesting question. Well, one of the guiding principles I use is that our why our purpose I call it our sacred calling is a little bit different than just say the law of attraction principles. And I think that if one of my desires weren’t down that particular lazy river, then it is either out of alignment fully with my sacred calling, or it might get drawn in at some point along the way. Yeah, that’s, that’s my answer.

Heather Clark 

I love it. So it’s not really so much. Okay, well, this is what you do. And this is how you steer your boat, and and, or your raft or whatever you’re on. If I’m understanding correctly, from your perspective, it’s more consider what is the underlying desire under what you want and really evaluate is that aligned for me or not? And if it’s aligned, it sounds like there’s an element of trust that it’ll come to you eventually.

Christine Clifton 

Oh, yeah. Well, trust is huge. For sure. And yeah, I do believe that we have freewill. And we also are here to do something special. And that’s what I call the sacred calling. So the understanding your motivators is the real drive, you know, that’s the gas that’s in the engine that keeps us going. And sometimes we have a limited out picturing just because we’re human, and the occasion that we might forget that the universe knows more than us as possible. So we might think something’s aligned and it feels a certain way. And we have idea this other thing could be more aligned, that feels a certain way. So yeah, that’s how I would clarify it.

Heather Clark 

Fascinating. So tell us a little bit more about the types of things that you’re exploring in your book.

Christine Clifton 

Yes, these are some of the concepts. So get ready, get set flow is the most recent book. And I wanted to bring it into the world because I was seeing people looking at their work lives separate from their life lives. And it got me thinking about how we could move through the world in a more integrated way. And some people have a spiritual belief that we’re all one, you know, that type of concept. And they’re very similar in different religions, depending on belief systems. And so I love that there’s this unity for a lot of us who are what I call soul powered, belive in this, but I still was seeing those types of people. That’s me too, at one point in my life, seeing the way I go about my work being different than the way I go about my life.

Christine Clifton 

And in my case, my money story really showed up about halfway through entrepreneurship. And it’s, it’s connected with that because we are cultured to believe that money comes from work. And so for whoever decided that it was work life balance, instead of, you know, work life, community relationships, volunteerism balance, you know, kind of put us in this polarity of always competing for our time. And I wanted to really show people that there could be some perspectives and practices we bring into our lives that could integrate those and stop them from competing for our time, energy and money. and unite our beliefs around how money comes to us.

Heather Clark 

So tell us a little bit more about that because I really appreciate the idea that, you know, we don’t have to compete for all of this, like your attention doesn’t have to be either work or home and maybe the compartmentalizing isn’t helpful. But how can people stop competing because it sounds like a great idea, except for those people who then have to go to work and they’re not supposed to think about home, blah, blah, blah. So flesh that out just a little bit more, if you wouldn’t mind.

Christine Clifton 

Oh, sure. I’m happy to.

Christine Clifton 

I say that I work 24 seven, and people’s eyebrows go up. And my definition of work is being in the course of my sacred calling. And a lot of people even I think there’s a little skewed perspective of what purpose is or what your why is a lot of people Throw a lasso around it in relationship with the work they choose. And I’m not in that camp of you have to work your passion. I believe that you can work a job that takes good care of you. And you can still be in the course of your passion at other times in your life. And so the concept that our work, what we’re here to do on the planet is not our job or our career or business, it’s instead how we show up in our authentic self. And wherever we go, there we are. So we do carry ourselves into every aspect of our lives. And so it’s less of a materialistic separation and more of an energetic integration, in terms of the perspective shift. So if I walk into work, I know that I am bringing my true self my authentic self there. I’m choosing it. And I’m in the course of my sacred work, even though I might not have the job of whatever that sacred work is. It is knowing that it comes with me everywhere. And that when I honor it, it drops those walls of resistance and separation and invites more opportunity and possibility into the world.

Heather Clark 

I especially love the idea that your work is not your job. And I think some people are wired such that their sacred work in the world, kind of, it’s more aligned for them to have it be their job, but gosh, that isn’t everybody. Found. Have you found that that creates a lot of relief for people or is that a little disappointing for them?

Christine Clifton 

Oh, that’s a great question too. Hmm?

Christine Clifton 

You know, I think it is more relief than disappointment, because part of what I find in the elements of the folks that get drawn to me as soul powered people is that there’s a lot of similarity in their values and their belief systems, and what’s important to them. And so we put a lot of burden on our work or our business to provide for us. So when a job leaves us or business doesn’t do well, that goes away.

Christine Clifton 

And if they’re spiritual beings, again, whichever the source of their understanding is, they know that that will always be there. So the relief comes, I think knowing that they are they don’t have to attach themselves to a certain performance or outcome expectation of their work. For their job, whether it’s financial or performance wise, and instead, they can look at with what’s within their sphere of influence, which is how they show up. That’s really the only thing they have control over is their connection to their source, and how they choose to step into something.

Christine Clifton 

So, for most thought, most people, it does a couple of things, they feel relieved that they don’t have to put that much pressure on their business. Because what happens is they’ve done something they love, and it turns into something that they dread, because there’s so much weight, you know, on the money piece, but also it opens up their creative outlets to show up in in different ways in their lives as well, because they know if they go and volunteer at the senior dog shelter, that they’re working, quote, unquote, air quotes, because they’re in the course of their purpose, their values. And if they show up to visit their grandmother in a nursing home, they’re working. Because they’re showing up as the their full selves.

Christine Clifton 

So it takes that pressure off of the business or the work. It shows them that they can do these things they’ve always wanted to do but have put off because they’ve been immersing themselves in the work trying to make the money or make the performance. And they begin to see that everything’s cool still at work or their business, even though they’re spending a little more time doing these other things that really feed their soul. So yeah, it is relief. I don’t, I can’t say anyone’s been disappointed or deflated, to find out that that’s how things work.

Christine Clifton 

And you know, it’s it’s funny, there’s a skepticism, you know, a healthy skepticism when these principles are first heard, and it’s fun to watch. them step into these creations that they’ve always wanted to do have them keep like I’m, you know, just kind of in my mind’s eye look at myself over looking over my back my shoulder, you know behind me to go kind of keep an eye on the business or the job and it’s still there, it’s still doing good. You know, they get entrepreneurs get business out of the blue that are in their quote unquote, sales pipeline, you know, and career professionals see opportunities at work show up out of the blue. And that’s flow flow is when you drop that veil separateness and really embrace that. You get to step fully in, no matter where you choose. And that’s, that’s your work.

Heather Clark 

So it sounds like for you, it’s more about focusing on what you can control which is simply how you show up and your connection with source and that how you show up is your work. And your job and the job of your business are separate. Like materially separate, not necessarily energetically separate. Do I have that right?

Christine Clifton 

Yeah, that’s that’s pretty much it. Mm hmm.

Heather Clark 

I love it. So how can someone begin to–because if you’ve been doing this work for a while, chances are you’re like, you know, I kind of get that. You might not be able to articulate to another person, but I kind of get that. But you talked about when people first hear these principles, and I think it’s great to have that healthy skepticism. But how do you help them? Step into it or at least play with these ideas?

Christine Clifton 

Yeah, another great question. Is one of the I use a lot of visuals you know, so I, so I say can you just loosen your grip just a little bit on the concept of, you know, money coming from work, and people get the kind of Blink Blink Blink Blink, you know, on the other end and, and so I asked a simple question and I say, Have you ever received money without working for it? And there’s usually an initial pause as they think. And then they’ll say, Well, I got money from my birthday. like, Okay, what else? Well, I found 80 cents in the couch cushions this week. Okay, what else? And before you know it, they’ve got a shortlist of at least three to five ways they’ve received money without working for it. So I immediately burst their belief system which I call the BS about money coming from work because doesn’t and they have social proof.

Christine Clifton 

So that’s the first step is just to help them see that social proof of it coming from other places then then working and then It is a matter of, you know, one of the things I say is that the universe doesn’t operate in a vacuum, what comes out something has to replace what goes out. So if I’m going to shift this belief out, what am I going to put in its place. And so this is where I then invite them to step into whatever they want to create, even if it doesn’t have money attached to it. So with the what we’re facing in the pandemic, right now, a lot of entrepreneurs aren’t working because they are service entrepreneurs, and they do things in person with their clients. So one of my clients today, she’s like, I just want to create, I just want to get my hands on, you know, she’s an interior designer, architect and designer. And I said, Well, you know, that’s the concept of the fact that that could only happen in the course of work is is actually not true. So is your home exactly how you want to Are you? Do you have the sensual, sights, smells, sounds, you know, textures that you want in every room of your own house? And she’s like, no, there’s some things I would like to do. And I said, Well, that’s your work, that’s your creation.

Christine Clifton 

And so that perspective shift where we think that it has to be attached to work to create is, is often a symptom of us trying to be of value by serving someone else and we skip over service to self, which if you really think about it, if I’m going to be a sustainable service provider, I’ve got to sustain myself too not only monetarily but you know other ways as well. So this concept begins to grow because again, it is all integrated these concepts because a big part of it is perceived self value or more Specifically, lack of, that’s usually how people show up in front of me is a bit burnout, and maybe even a little bit broke ish. So things aren’t working. And so they don’t know why. And this is usually the time in their journeys to really look at their relationship with work and money. So

Heather Clark 

I see so it’s really more of their relationship with the structures of work as we typically understand them then. So the structure of work as a job or as your business, because you’d said earlier, that work is really showing up as your full self. So it’s almost like you’re getting people to shift their definition of what work is, so they can see it isn’t like Oh, no money can only come through these channels. It It sounds like it’s responded when you allow it to come in different ways.

Christine Clifton 

Exactly. Okay.

Heather Clark 

So tell us a little bit of your origin story. How did you get to this place teaching about these things?

Christine Clifton 

Oh my goodness. I always laugh with that question because it is I call it the butterfly’s path. If you ever watch a butterfly fly, it’s never, you know directly where is headed. It’s a little bit detour-y and, you know, started out traditional in traditional work. I was working restaurants from college and I ended up managing a dining room inside of a restaurant in a hotel, my first job out of college, and I began to take my butterflies path and I moved from there to retail department store and then I moved to HR human resources in retail department store and then I moved to insurance, HR and chemicals, HR and then chemical sales, and none of that I pre-planned, I just had this knack of diving right in giving it my all deciding what I liked less and what I liked more and I started seeking more of what I liked.

Christine Clifton 

And I left corporate after 20 years of being a successful manager and all of those capacities. And my first practice was life coaching for women with chronic illness because at the time I was facing fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. And as I was moving through that I was experiencing natural health and so I decided open a wellness studio and I’m a swing dance teacher. So I was teaching swing dance there and something called Nia which is a Mind Body Fitness, exercise and I was doing life coaching and it branched into business coaching, while I was also getting to host some people doing their own classes there. And then people started asking me to help them market their business and so I became a marketing assistant I guess for solopreneurs, where I would tee up sales opportunities for them based on their networking activities, and then they couldn’t sell themselves out of a paper bag. So I started teaching them how to sell. And then I started seeing the BS, as I mentioned before the belief systems that was stopping them from selling themselves. And so I started bringing in some of these softer topics around yourself perceived value and how to position yourself and so I started moving more into being it’s still a generalist, but around both the inner work and the outer work together because again, they’re linked. And that’s how I got where I am today.

Heather Clark 

And what would you say is your sweet spot at least as you understand it in this moment, for the people that are like, Oh my God, this was amazing. I got the most value from What’s your sweet spot for who to work with and what to do?

Christine Clifton 

Yes, I work with givers. People who consider themselves highly relational and relationships, top everything. They are wired for service, they are wanting to do their good work and bring it into the world. And they aren’t necessarily wanting to beat their chests at the top of the mountain, whether they’re an entrepreneur or a career professional. And it’s, it’s something that they want to move into a greater actualization of themselves because they are wired for growth. They are feeling that natural evolution of themselves, but they don’t quite know why they aren’t getting where they want to go or where they’ve they’ve seen themselves go.

Christine Clifton 

And that’s what I call soul powered is that they know they’re driven by this energy inside of them. And That they are feeling a little lacking and how strongly they’re showing up. And so that’s why I call myself a work life pivot partner because they’re often ready to just do something else. And it’s a matter of they’re standing at this crossroad, scratching their head going, well which path do I take? And the answer is that no path you’ve got to whip out that machete right there and start hacking your way through a new one. They just don’t know what that looks like. And so we kind of link arms and take that journey together. I don’t know the answer, but I can help them find it. So those are my my peeps.

Heather Clark 

Love it. And I especially love that you don’t have the guru style style of coaching where you’re like, I know best and you just need to follow my formula. And you know, there’s a place for that and that’s great. It just doesn’t resonate with me. So I really appreciate talking to other people who are more guides That’s great.

Christine Clifton 

Yeah, yeah. Well, it’s my comfort spot. You know it whatever point in my journey to when I gave up that self pressure of needing to have the answer, you know, that was my liberation to in my work so we all have our journeys

Heather Clark 

and Do you still work with people who have chronic illnesses?

Christine Clifton 

It’s funny you asked that I do tend to attract people with chronic illnesses. It isn’t on the forefront when they land in front of me. But it ends up coming out when we start working together. Now my book originally was positioned about addressing burnout. And there that topic is becoming a little more mainstream and actually the World Health Organization in 2018 named it as a workplace it’s like a anomaly. You know, workplace condition is not a medical condition. But something that comes from the workplace. And, you know, I think it’s from being out of alignment. So being out of alignment does cause health issues. stress causes the body to fall into disease. And so yeah, a lot of people come to me with these. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have discussed it, but conditions.

Christine Clifton 

I don’t overtly say that. That’s who I work with. But it is definitely something. I mean, I just, I’m 53. I’ve been chronically ill for 22 years. And I just this year got my diagnosis, which is a genetic connective tissue disorder. And so, you know, I’ve had multiple illnesses in those those times. And so it’s really weird to now have a diagnosis being this old, but also to recognize that, you know, I was doing a lot of the right things in my health journey, and if I hadn’t been I’ve been worse off, you know, so I think a lot of people can identify With that, you know autoimmune issues are much more prevalent today, in addition to this idea of, of just being burnt out so inevitably takes a toll on the body.

Heather Clark 

Yeah, you’re totally preaching to the choir here with stress and burnout for years and when the WHO finally was like, yeah, burnouts a thing. The rest of the world was like, right? Of course it is, right. Yeah. But well, I love it because

Heather Clark 

it’s a different vibe. If you’re like, I help people with chronic illness do xy and z that is different than I hope people do XY and Z. Oh, and by the way, interestingly, people who really resonate with me have similar journeys. And I just, I love that and and I’m sure that you found that that’s been really helpful when you’re working with people because you have that different level of experience. But I’d like to shift just a little bit and learn more about not necessarily what the diagnosis was, but your experience of finally being able to obtain a diagnosis.

Christine Clifton 

Yes, it was surreal, quite honestly, because I had suspected I had the thing for almost a year, and all the doctors that I saw and even some holistic practitioners because I do practice complimentary medicine. Also, there’s no way you have that you don’t have it. And the diagnosis is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which is uh, you know, if you think of your friend to contort their bodies or the Cirque du Soleil people and it’s a connective tissue disorder, which makes our tissues too stretchy. So I wasn’t bendy enough in their eyes that you know, you’re not bendy you can’t have this and sitting in front of the geneticist and having him interview me in 20 minutes and said, Yep, you have this, it was just like, talk about the blink, blink blink, you know, on the other side. So it was weird to feel validated, completely validated in that moment. And also, it was weird to feel excited about a genetic disorder that I now know will I will be facing like, I mean, there’s a lot of other concepts. So I don’t want to get too complicated. But if I were to say,

Heather Clark 

No, let’s get complicated. This is a deep dive. Right?

Heather Clark 

Because I really feel like that people listening, there are plenty of places to go where we just keep it light and we touch on stuff. But this is a this is real, because it has a major impact on every aspect of people’s work and life.

Christine Clifton 

Well, I’m happy, I’m happy to share some of the things out there and this is really, you know, there was at one point in my life, were at my money story. It was my big growth point and now my health is my big growth point. It always has been but in a greater way, because even though we have genetic dispositions to things doesn’t mean the genes express themselves. And what happened with me the best we can tell, is I have this weird cascade of, of things happen to me physically. That got me sicker and sicker and sicker. And it appears that the genes started expressing themselves more and more and more as I got sicker and sicker and sicker.

Christine Clifton 

And so as a child, I don’t remember being sick. And as a young adult, I don’t remember being sick. And so I wasn’t bendy. I didn’t do the things that a lot of people do with their bodies, you know, with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome so so I don’t know where my genes expressing is that a spectrum? I guess it could be anybody’s guess. What I what little I know now. I know it is a spectrum and the Type I have is not genetically mapped, it’s a clinical diagnosis with a with a geneticist. So, you know, if I think about, well, if the gene can turn on, can it turn off? You know, and, you know, doctors will say, No, some of them won’t even say the gene turned on themselves, you know. So this is where I am now with this diagnosis, which was just early February, but to really begin to get myself to a more stable point physically.

Christine Clifton 

So I have the mental cognition to begin to explore, Hmm, you know, how might I be able to turn these genes off? You know, here’s some here’s a quick story that’s somewhat similar. I once had an issue with a tooth and they pulled a tooth and they found the tooth next to it had decayed and, you know, once your tooth heals, you have to come back and get a new crown on this tooth because there’s decay underneath and I was I mean, dental work is the worst, right? So I kept avoiding avoiding avoiding and six months later finally went back to get it repaired. And they’re like, why are you here? I’m like, What do you mean? Why am I here? They’re like, there’s nothing wrong with your teeth. What do you mean to decay? I’m like, look at the dentist report. Like he said, there’s decay under my crown. They’re like, there’s no decay here.

Christine Clifton 

So you know, who believes you can heal your teeth? Few people, few dentists believe you can heal your teeth. And so when I went back to kind of see how in the world I was able to do this, I was doing some different experiments with my diet. And I had upped my vitamin D, I was working with a naturopath and I had eliminated grains completely from my diet, because we were trying some things around my food sensitivities. And then when I found this teeny little study buried deep in the interwebs, where a holistic dentist ran a study on, it was children, but they heal their cavities by increasing vitamin D and eliminating grain. And I

Heather Clark 

what I love is that many years ago, I would have been like, oh okay, but now I’m like, right? Oh, interesting. But yeah. Tell us more about that.

Christine Clifton 

What about the self healing piece?

Heather Clark 

Not just the self healing piece. But basically, okay. Because what I find is very interesting from one perspective, receiving a diagnosis. One way of looking at it is it really shouldn’t change anything. And the lived experience of finally receiving a diagnosis can be the turning point for everything. It’s like, Oh, now I understand what’s going on. I feel very validated. I’m not crazy. And now I can organize a plan.

Heather Clark 

So like, but not from a well I have this diagnosis and but but more like, oh no. Okay, great. This is a thing. And this is a gene that turned on, let me explore turning that gene off. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Christine Clifton 

So yeah, you know, at each point have a quote unquote diagnosis and you chronic illnesses, such can be a challenging thing for that reason, a lot of them are default diagnoses. And so with fibro and chronic fatigue, you know that depending on how you talk to default diagnose

Heather Clark 

a default diagnosis that changes how people interact with you.

Christine Clifton 

Yes, exactly. Yes. Yeah, for sure. And then at some point, when I was unwell again, with something different it was something called chronic atropic gastritis, where my stomach stopped making stomach acid. And you know, there was this approach that I had to take it didn’t again, it didn’t change anything because I was already super Healthy, you know, in terms of how I was living my life, and it was just befuddeling, why all these things were happening. And you know that when I healed, I healed my chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, at least at the time, primarily through diet, but other things as well. Then with the diagnosis of chronic GI tract gastritis, I was having iron infusions twice a year right into my veins, because I couldn’t absorb dietary iron,

Christine Clifton 

and then read this article about how to turn on the parasympathetic nervous system. You know, it was an interesting article in the way I it, it wasn’t written this way. But in my mind’s eye, I said to myself, okay, you’re running a tub of water, and you want the water in the tub to be hotter. What do you do? Well, turn on the hot water. Or you could turn on the cold water, right? there’s kind of two mechanisms that you could take. So with the sympathetic and parasympathetic, same thing, You could turn down or tone down, calm down your sympathetic, or, and that’s what I knew about that piece.

Christine Clifton 

But I never read the context of turning on the parasympathetic that both of them can’t be on at the same time. And so I embarked on what I call the year of pleasure 2014 because pleasure turns on the parasympathetic nervous system, and that was the first year I only had one iron infusions beginning of the year, and 12 months later, in December when I had my bloodwork done, my ferritin level was exactly the same as immediately after the first infusion at the beginning of the year. And of course, the doctor had no explanation for it. Yeah, that’s basically basically just brushed it off. And, you know, at the time, I just, you know, I’m like,

Christine Clifton 

Why do doctors think–I might say traditional doctors think–that The body can spontaneously be ill, but it can’t turn well. And that I don’t have an answer to even in this moment. But um, you know, it’s very empowering to know that we have this ability to communicate with our bodies in this way into into healing. And so even as a pain ridden, let me tell you, the past 18 months have been with where I landed with with my body. It has been really challenging now I think back to help pain ridden emotionally my money story was it was probably as painful but emotionally versus physically. So, you know, one of the women that I’ve been working with on my mindset around this, you know, she’s like she goes, it’s really interesting. Like you have an opportunity to look at your health the way that you have learned and you now teach other people about their money. Their relationship with money.

Christine Clifton 

And so that’s where I am right now is really beginning to shift. I mean, gosh, talk about, I always felt, Heather, that my body betrayed me. Yeah, you know, and I mean, my friends at work would tease me that I eat twigs and sticks. I mean, I was just so healthy, you know. And so despite everything I did, it still got sick. And so to have this diagnosis of a genetic abnormality, was seems, I mean, it may seem obvious, even more validating than if it was something else because it was already it was always there. And I now know it was in part what caused my fiber and chronic fatigue, it was what was at play with my chronic atropic gastritis. And so I can now see the connection. And so now I have this opportunity to reach another level of belief about How I can relate with my physical body differently. And in a way to turn this gene back off again.

Heather Clark 

Yeah, and I love that it’s just it’s like another layer because if I understood you correctly, you were recognizing similar themes with the pain around money. And I’m just I’m so curious Did you feel like at some point money had betrayed you?

Christine Clifton 

Oh, yeah big time.  I’m but but you know what it was, you know, at the time, it was like God had betrayed me. Yeah, I was like, you know, I dove into entrepreneurship, totally clueless.

Heather Clark 

And that’s really the best way to do it, don’t you think?

Christine Clifton 

Right leap of faith man dive in the deep end. And so yeah, I just, you know, self funded my my my wellness studio that I ended up opening. It was the most fun kind of 14 months of my life and I could not you know, no matter what I did, I could not get it to work. It was doing all the things. And so there was a definite feeling of betrayal. And so what I’ve learned as I’ve grown spiritually, is that often when I say, Oh, I can’t trust that person, it’s really that I can’t trust myself. And that I, I was judging myself for choosing the relationship with that person. You know, can’t Can’t you read people, you know, so, I mean, I’m not gonna say that’s there. 100% of the time, but, so when I started looking at that change of how money works, it was a little bit like seeing behind the matrix. You know, I use Neo as an example a lot when I talk with people when he started when he you know, that moment, when he saw the matrix, he truly knew what the illusion was. So yeah, you know, again, for me, it’s now is now relating with my body in that way. So yeah, it’s, it’s interesting.

Heather Clark 

Yeah, it was really interesting. And I love the echoes of this because I, you know, as a fellow business owner, and that’s why I say if you jump in without knowing anything about it, it’s the best way because if you knew what it was really like a person might never make,

Christine Clifton 

I would never have chosen an entrepreneurship. No way, man.

Heather Clark 

If I’d had full disclosure, I’ve been like, Oh, dude, I don’t know. And I do love it, though.

Heather Clark 

Fascinating. But I really like the echoes of this and how people like it really breaks down the compartmentalization of well this is what I do for money and this is what I do for life and like no, no, the lessons are everywhere. And the opportunity is everywhere. And I really feel like I would be doing us a disservice if we did not briefly circle back to this year of pleasure.

Christine Clifton 

Yes,

Heather Clark 

like all this is great. Now we need to know everything about that, because to activate the parasympathetic system, like I teach about, it’s easier to think about it like gas and brakes. And I love hot water, cold water, like great metaphors that help people get their brains around it. And then from at least a science perspective, I’m aware of using breathing techniques to really stimulate the vagus nerve. Were you doing vagal nerve stimulation or like, what, what else is available to activate the parasympathetic system?

Christine Clifton 

Well, I think I don’t think my knowledge of the vagal, you know, the vagus nerve. Well, I know it wasn’t there at the time. So I think I approached it a bit more simplistically, and I, at that point, my diet was so strict, it was like, I was afraid of food. And, you know, that’s going to add to my stress level and just dump more cortisol in my body.

Christine Clifton 

So I said, Forget the diet. I’m eating whatever the heck I want. And no, it’s not like I was in the drive thru to McDonald’s but I just I said forget it. I’m going to eat gluten Forget it. I’m going to eat dairy if I want it. Um, I just released that hyper diligence, you know, around food. I took naps when I gave myself permission to take a nap. When my body was tired. I was taking comatose two to three hour naps every afternoon for probably three months. My body was so wiped out and I started taking more baths and just enjoying that pleasure. I started you know, just watching romantic movies and comedies, stand up shows. That’s to make me laugh and to just have the energy of that feel good. I was Singleton at the time, the oxytocin. And I said to my counselor, that year, I said, You know, I just wish I had a sugar daddy like that would just be fun to have someone just take care of me and blah, blah, blah. And seven days later the universe brought a sugar daddy.

Christine Clifton 

I had a fun short relationship with the, with a guy and I had sex and you know, we went to dinner and we laughed, and we went on trips, and it was just a very, you know, free feeling, experience. And the, at the time, I didn’t fully understand the power of belly breathing, which like I do now, but, but I’m sure that my body began to breathe differently when the guard gets let down, you know, when the soldier stands down, and that’s really what the sympathetic nervous system is it’s thinking it has to protect me all the time. And certainly my journey through my money story to that soldier. Um, so yeah, that was the year of pleasure. I just gave myself What- What I needed to feel pleasure again. Yeah, massages again that was just popped into my mind too. I started doing massage more more often. So that that’s my year of pleasure. I just allowed it.

Heather Clark 

Lovely, lovely. What I like is–who did I hear this from?– Kim Gould teaches about how women are designed for to receive pleasure. And she’s not just talking about sex. She’s talking about everything. And it’s my opinion that culture is set up as a little bit pleasure denying or

Christine Clifton 

Little bit.

Heather Clark 

And the other thing I love about this this year of pleasure, and it sounds like you’ve retained lots of it as you’ve gone along. But when I hear this Yes, yes, it’s pleasure, but I hear you ruthlessly put yourself first.

Christine Clifton 

Hmm.

Heather Clark 

And, and like, I love this as a tangible example of that because when I teach people about self care and like ruthlessly, relentlessly put yourself first. First we have to climb over the hurdle of Oh my God, my whole world will crumble if I do that. But like, I love this is tangible examples. What if What you need is pleasure, what if what you need is to just give yourself permission.

Christine Clifton 

Exactly. And this is, you know, if I can look back now and see how the cultural norm of what entrepreneurship should look like and what you should be doing in your business and making these things many phone calls a day to blah, blah, blah, you know, it was, you know that and I, you know, I punished myself further by spending $10,000 on a high end coaching program that left me burnout and broke on the other side of it. And, you know, it’s all lessons, of course.

Christine Clifton 

And I think the discovery is I don’t know, you know, sometimes you say, midlife crisis or you find yourself again or you reinvent yourself but I think for people you’ve been to hell and back and have had these cultural norms and belief systems so heavy, that there’s a lack of familiarity of self care. You know, there’s some people will in the personal and spiritual growth industries will label it as Oh, I’m not worthy. So you don’t do it but I’m not sold on that being the only the only option. What I find with my clients and with myself, I wasn’t familiar with it. I was raised to to make other people happy. Whether it was my parents or my bosses, or my partners or spouse. I didn’t know I wasn’t familiar with what that looked like I, you know, one of the stories I tell about that is in the movie Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts, if anyone’s seen it, but the reporter is Richard Gere, and he’s interviewing all these guys. She left at the altar and asking them what kind of eggs she liked as part of the interview. And the eggs that she liked was always the eggs that he liked. So the eggs she liked, that was her favorite changed with whichever partner she was with. So at the end of the movie, she comes back to Richard Gere and basically says, Sorry, this is a spoiler for the movie, but he’s like, I like eggs benedict. And so again, she had a lack of familiarity with even choosing an egg. That she liked, you know, that was different. And so think that’s not uncommon, that we just aren’t familiar familiar with what it looks like to take good care of ourselves.

Heather Clark 

Yeah, cuz a lot of times when I’m having a Real Clarity Call with people, I’ll just be like, well, if you were to put yourself first, what would you do here?

Heather Clark 

The majority of the time is there’s a big long pause. And then for the people who are willing to be honest, like, I really don’t know, like, that’s beautiful. This is gonna work great then. But you know, I don’t know. And I should him blah, blah, blah, like, No, why? Just be real about it. But yeah, I completely agree. It’s a lack of familiarity. And I’m very curious about I don’t really know, if it truly is about worthiness, while I’m not worthy, so I’m not doing it. Or it’s just never occurred to people or they haven’t had the model or it’s hard to Do things for yourself with that tape playing in the background of, well, if I’m doing this I am not calling people and I’m not blah blah blah.

Christine Clifton 

Hmmm

Heather Clark 

Because that the whole– gonna step up on a little soapbox here but this whole culture of entrepreneurship where you got to make so many calls and you got to do this you got to do that is such a bro dude way of doing like, you know, okay frat boy enjoy that I’m like it isn’t for everybody. That isn’t how everybody does it now does it require making connections with people? Pretty much yeah, there are exceptions to it. But yeah, make connections with people. But if you’re doing 20 phone calls a day, how deep is that connection? And what kind of person are you going to get into your business? And are you creating a business that’s going to essentially burn you out very quickly.

Christine Clifton 

Exactly. And you know, the sales tactics I was taught in that $10,000 program was You know, in one case, she was like, we’ll help them decide what they can sell so they can hire you.

Christine Clifton 

And I, you know, it’s just like, what? Like, really you want me on a call to say, Well, what do you have to sell? What do you have to sell that can be whatever, hundreds of dollars or whatever to cut, you know, and I just, you know, just couldn’t believe it. And one of the lessons from that when I looked back was how I didn’t want to run my business. But again, it sent me off in a trajectory of asking, What do I want my business to look like? How could I run my business so it fits me? And so to your point, there is real well, if you read Susan Kane’s book about introverts, right, she calls it the extrovert ideal, that is in our culture, you know, it’s you have to be charismatic and you have to be extroverted.

Christine Clifton 

But then there’s people like me who’s more ambivert and I err on the side of introvert and This is why I’ve ended up serving highly relational people is because none of what I teach them around relating with people in their workplace or selling themselves as an entrepreneur, is anything but in integrity around building relationships and retaining that value. So there’s more than one way to do it. Yet we aren’t always taught and when I looked at the woman whose program I entered, she was extrovert. She was a bit crass. She was really blunt. And you know what her model, quote unquote, worked for her, and she’s selling it to other people. And that seems to make sense. Well, if it worked for her, I’m now going to sell it, you know.

Christine Clifton 

And so I’m much more aware of not only for myself, but even meeting colleagues or even talking to prospective clients that now I know what to ask, because I know who’s a good client for me and I can refer them to if they’re more blunt. straight into the point and crass and I’ll refer them to her, you know, because it is important for us to recognize that we can choose. And that’s part of flow as well is that when we get to that point of really owning what works for us, even in our business when when I fell ill 18 months ago, I kept trudging through my business like I was before that it fit me before. But I didn’t take the time even to kind of say, Well, what does fit me now and so now I spaced my client sessions farther apart, and they take less sessions in a day, because I need the rest in between and my body’s a little unstable. So I get to lay down so I can rely on my body and

Christine Clifton 

it just, I changed my programs to from the traditional, like monthly fee for coaches and consultants and they basically go shop on my website, like buy what you want, look into my calendar, and we’ll both show up on the phone together. Like it’s the most freeing thing I’ve done in my practice. To switch to that model in, my old coach would have told me that’s the stupidest thing you could ever do?

Heather Clark 

Well, because it wouldn’t have worked for the old coach because it’s not aligned for her. I love it. I love it and you’re recognizing what’s aligned for you. And recognizing that that changes.

Christine Clifton 

It does.

Heather Clark 

You know, it changes, it evolves, and it can be in a few months, you’ll go back to what you’re doing, or you’ll create something brand new, and it’s all gonna be beautiful, and that’s okay.

Christine Clifton 

Exactly. Exactly. And that’s it, you know, if we can honor that we’re ever evolving. I mean, you if you were looking at my resume as a career person, you would say, I mean, I started job hopping before job hopping was cool, you know, but it was because I was just looking for the next better thing. I was never laid off or fired. I always was looking to grow. And my entrepreneurship was no different as you heard You know, life coach, holistic center owner marketing. And and I could look and I had a colleague say, Christine, why can’t you stick to any one thing like, if you were just to stick to one thing you’d be successful. And this person is has been a mortgage broker, you know, his whole life pretty much his whole life. And that’s perfect for him. And, you know, I used to judge myself for not sticking to one thing, but I just knew that it didn’t fully fit and I was continually evolving as a human as well. And what fit two years ago isn’t gonna fit this year. Maybe so. So yeah, I think that is the real paradigm that we have a chance to consider as being a valid option.

Christine Clifton 

Go figure.

Heather Clark 

Yeah, go figure and I really wonder if that kind of thing isn’t going to speed up for people because I think the world has evolved as well. So I think things are going to happen a little more quickly. And I love that there are examples in the world for people to look to Well, it’s working for Christine. Maybe this is going to be okay. Maybe things are different. And it doesn’t mean that there’s no place for people who I don’t know, I’m a mortgage broker been doing it for years. I love it. Great. My goodness, more power to you. Yeah. But, you know, if you’re unsettled, or you know, this isn’t quite a fit. That’s okay. That doesn’t make you bad. That doesn’t make you wrong. It’s okay. Just discover what is the fit?

Christine Clifton 

Exactly. Yeah. And that’s why I work in what I call framework with, you know, there there definitely, let’s say marketing and business development truths out there, and you’re not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater. But you can make sure that they are in alignment and they fit you. And so the framework is Yeah, it does make sense to have This thing on your website to add people to your newsletter, but you don’t need a 21 day drip, you know where you’re bombarding people with emails if you don’t want to do that, for goodness sakes, so, you know,

Christine Clifton 

so so the framework, it’d be silly to throw it all out. But you get to see what works and what feels right for you. And then also for your audience, like my newsletter audience reads, but they don’t click worth a Dang, you know, so I always get an email response to my newsletters, people email me back and are like, this is the greatest story and so my people don’t click. So you know, I’m not going to spend thousands of dollars to my newsletter game just to try to get people to click because that isn’t what’s working. What’s working for me is speaking, what’s working for me is referrals. And you know what? I don’t have to do all the things. I think it’s makes a lot more sense to leverage your strengths than to always think you have to improve a weakness. Just that’s exhausting.

Heather Clark 

This idea of improving weakness, like, I reject the premise, I reject the premise who says that’s a weakness that is a value judgment. No. Once you accept the premise that you have a weakness, then you’re essentially saying, well, there’s something wrong with me. No, no, no, no, just love it. leverage your strengths. There are things that work better for you that you’re very good at and makes you an ideal fit in certain places. And those very same things will make you very much not a fit in other places. So just find what works for you.

Christine Clifton 

Yeah, it’s it’s a beautiful thing. And it’s when I first started in that coaching practice, you know, I had to create the, you know, irresistible force. free offer that you give to get, you know, whatever. And it just makes me vomit in my mouth a little bit when I think about all that, but, but it did force me to kind of write this PDF and I named it you know how to do less and earn more. And you knew there was a little hint of what I’m all about in there, which is, how can you make the most of where you choose to show up and want to show up and be you know, because I have been chronically ill and fatigued, I want to be most efficient and effective in any hour of expenditure of my time that I choose. So how can I maximize that in a way that’s an integrity for me and

Christine Clifton 

helps other people and it can be both? So So yeah,

Christine Clifton 

I’ve I do believe that we can do less and earn more when we honor these alignment points for ourselves. Absolutely.

Heather Clark 

So before we wrap up, I have a question for you. What does it mean to you to be unshakable?

Christine Clifton 

Hmm? Unshakable is being centered and grounded in your connection to source, self and service. And it’s that inner knowing it’s that ownership of connection, that no matter how the plates the earth are shifting, or how much that person is, you know, yanking on you trying to invite you into the game of tug of war, whatever the case might be. You have a center point of connection, that is how you recalibrate and reset the needle. So to me that that is what it means to be unshakable.

Heather Clark 

That’s lovely. Thank you. So Christine, tell us where can people find you?

Christine Clifton 

The easiest way is go to ChristineClifton.com, easy peasy fresh and easy. Most Everything is there links to my books. Click the link to come chat with me. The irresistible free offer that I have now is a beautiful video training called ignite your inner leader. So you can get that there as well. So yep, that’s the best place. Of course, I’m on LinkedIn, Facebook and stuff like that. Not Twitter, not Insta. But look for me on LinkedIn. Connect with me there for sure. And those links are on my website too. So it’s just the easiest portal to find me.

Heather Clark 

Beautiful, beautiful. Thanks so much. And thank you so much for being on the show.

Christine Clifton 

You’re welcome. Thanks for having me Heather.

Heather Clark 

Thank you so much for listening to Unshakable Being. You’ll find the links and descriptions mentioned today in the episode show notes located at unshakablebeing.com. May you be unshakable, unstoppable, and vibrant again. Until next time