What if you could easily bounce back and wield resilience…and go from surviving to thriving? Join bounce back expert and breakthrough coach Adena Sampson and I as we explore how to build–and wield–resilience while bouncing back from adversity.
In this episode we explore:
- How to build resilience, even mid-pandemic
- How to step into surrender and acceptance
- Shifting perspectives to reduce stress
- How to use adversity as an opportunity
- Using the tools of resilience to navigate chronic pain
Breakthrough Coach | Inspirational Speaker | Singer-Songwriter | Best-Selling Author
Adena Sampson M.Sc., Founder of Outloud Productions & The Unbreakable Spirit Movement, is a Breakthrough Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Singer-Songwriter, and Best-Selling Author. Having overcome the insurmountable, Adena leads by example, teaching us how to turn challenges into victories and inspiring us to live a more authentic, courageous, and passionate life!
The Road Back to Me: 9 Principles for Navigating Life’s Unexpected Twists & Turns is now available internationally on Amazon in ebook, paperback and hardcover formats, with the audiobook coming soon…
The Kindle Edition hit #1 Best Seller in 8 different categories within the first 72hours of launching, and then hit a 9th category 2 days later: #1 in Adulthood & Aging – Anxieties & Phobias – Alternative Holistic Medicine – Behavior – Inner Child – Chronic Pain – Meditation – Homeopathy – Codependency
So be sure to grab your copy of the book where Adena shares a Roadmap to Recovery & Healing—giving you the tools you need to trust in the process, shift your perspective, push past your comfort zone, face your fears, challenge your beliefs, and reclaim your power.
BONUS: You’ll also gain access to The Road Back to Me Soundtrack—an exclusive playlist of original songs to help move and inspire—not available anywhere else. Feel free to sing-along… you’ll find the link and lyrics in the book
Back of the book blurb:
Only from the ashes of who we once were, can we rise up to become who we’re meant to be…
There comes a time in each of our lives when everything seems like it’s falling apart—our relationships unravel, our health declines, our finances crumble—and it can be easy to allow these circumstances to define us. When these seemingly insurmountable obstacles arise, we have two choices: to use our circumstances as an excuse to stay stuck, or to face our fears and move through them.
In 2008, Adena’s world came crashing down! Her story is one of excruciating heartbreak, severe chronic illness, and financial devastation—a 12-year journey that had her fighting for her life. Since then, she has taken everything she has learned about thriving in the face of adversity and is sharing those lessons with others as a roadmap to recovery and healing. In The Road Back To Me, Adena Sampson reveals 9 foundational principles that have helped countless people transform their lives.
In this life-changing book, you’ll discover:
- How early trauma affects health across a lifetime and how having compassion is key when identifying your childhood wounds, codependent relationships, and failed attempts to fix things
- How to understand the driving force behind the self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors that are holding you back, redefine the way you measure success, and adopt new empowering habits and beliefs that will improve your quality of life
- How to forgive and let go of grief, no matter how someone may have hurt you in the past, and build a stronger sense of rapport, confidence, and trust in yourself and in all your relationships
- How to uncover your authentic self by rekindling the joy in your life, reigniting your passion, and unlocking your true potential
- How to build resilience so that you can bounce back with courage, clarity, and purpose
- How to experience a newfound freedom, bridging the gap between where you are and where you are meant to be—a happier, healthier, more empowered you!
“When you read this book, you will both be inspired and empowered. Adena has captured the essence of what it means to struggle and overcome. Her story will give you hope, and her principles will leave you with the ability to move through whatever is going on in your life. A must-read for anyone who wants to truly thrive!” — Denice Kennedy, DMK Solutions
Heather Clark 00:01
Welcome to Unshakable Being, the podcast with inspiration and practical tools for purpose led leaders like you to relieve stress, build resilience, and unlock vitality in your life, body and business. I am Dr. Heather Clark, and I’ll be your host.
Heather Clark 00:19
Hello and welcome back to the show. Today we have on Adena Sampson. She is the founder of Outloud Productions and the Unbreakable Spirit Movement. And is a breakthrough coach, inspirational speaker, singer, songwriter, and best selling author. Having overcome the insurmountable, Adena leads by example, teaching us how to turn challenges into victories and inspiring us to live a more authentic, courageous and passionate Heather. Adena, welcome to the show.
Adena Sampson 00:49
It’s such a pleasure to be here.
Heather Clark 00:52
It is a pleasure to have you on you are delightful listeners, we have been chatting for a few minutes before and I am so excited about this.
Heather Clark 01:01
So excited. And in fact, so excited, it’s difficult for me to choose the first question. So let’s start with so here we are, mid pandemic, where a lot of people are feeling like we’re post pandemic, but in fact,
Adena Sampson 01:18
Heather Clark 01:24
I would love for you to just kind of take the bit in your teeth and run, because I want to hear how people can help shift their perspective with this, how they can surrender and accept what is and how to do so in a way that shifts them out of stress
Adena Sampson 01:39
Thank you for the great setup. So thank you so much, Heather.
Adena Sampson 01:42
You know, that’s also a loaded question. I don’t think you know,
Adena Sampson 01:47
how I’m going to answer this. First and foremost, there’s no quick fix. There’s no magic pill, anything that we want to grow into and experience in our lives, we are going to have to take a moment to look within look in the mirror and say, How am I showing up? How am I being part of the solution part of the problem? What does this look like?
Adena Sampson 02:08
Again, not not always easy for for a lot of us and yet, for those that are already on the path for those that are maybe at a crossroads at their life. For those who are even dealing with the pandemic, there’s a realization, I believe at some point that says, hey,
Adena Sampson 02:22
I would like this to be a different way. It’s uncomfortable in the moment what life is throwing at me is uncomfortable now and realizing that we can’t necessarily change what is being thrown at us, right? A lot of times I believe, we see these as obstacles that we want to get around. We want to pretend that that’s not there.
Adena Sampson 02:43
Anything to avoid the uncomfortable feeling that it brings, rightfully so, however, the only way out is through. And I truly, truly believe that because of where I’ve been from my experience prior to the pandemic. It’s not that my experience has been any harder than most during the pandemic. I just believe that because I’ve been through what I’ve been through, which we can talk about later on and get to that. I’ve had some extra tools on my belt, you should say in my backpack that allows me to go Okay, this is uncomfortable. I’ve
Adena Sampson 03:14
been here before. Let me take a step back. Let me realize what is in my control. I can’t control what’s being thrown at me, but I can control how I respond to it. Again, sounds like something we’ve heard before. not always easy to address, but it’s breaking it down saying Okay, in this moment to acknowledge even what we’re feeling, yes, I’m feeling depressed. Yes, I’m feeling overwhelmed. Yes, I’m feeling anxious.
Adena Sampson 03:37
These are things I don’t believe are spoken about enough. We talk about it as if we have this hush hush that, that maybe it’s a mental illness. This is the way we describe it and wrap it up, which I think is is incorrect. I think we can shift our perspective and say we all deal with this. We’re just not talking about it enough. And how can we support each other in moving forward?
Adena Sampson 04:00
And I think, to also answer your question question, I believe that people sometimes mistake resilience is maybe already somebody with confidence, or maybe that somehow you’re born with it or you’re not. and resilience is something that is wielded resilience is actually something that is wielded through the uncomfortable.
Adena Sampson 04:19
So it’s grace under pressure. It’s learning how to navigate how to be flexible with what life throws at you, no matter how uncomfortable because when it happens again, you’re already then more well equipped. It’s just a natural progression, you know, as such, so I may not have given you specifics yet that we have broken down.
Adena Sampson 04:38
But I really believe that when we look at adversity as an opportunity, what are the lessons to learn why are we here? What can I learn from this life again, gets so much better and also when we accept that we don’t have control that it’s going to happen again, instead of thinking that okay, this will never happen again.
Adena Sampson 04:58
We have to be really honest But yes, it will. And when it does, we’re just better well equipped, or we get to practice this time around, and we’re not going to get it right right away. And it’s not always going to be comfortable. And it’s only that moment, the next moment is the future.
Adena Sampson 05:13
The moment prior is the past, we’re here now if we can remain present, with with really what is in front of us, then the next moment comes, and we’re not stuck in a stagnant place, wondering how to navigate so so many people have lost loved ones, whether that be from, you know, death, unfortunately, through the pandemic, whether that’s been through a divorce, okay, whether that’s an illness, you know, you name it.
Adena Sampson 05:36
And and I think it’s just important to realize that we’re all in this together. And to start from square one, we’re here, we’re still going through it. It’s a matter of opinion, maybe, but I think politics, everything needs to be pushed aside to realize we’re all in this together, we are all being affected. How can we support each other?
Adena Sampson 05:53
So I know that was a little bit long winded as you can tell extremely passionate about life and, and supporting everyone. So I hope that answers your question a bit.
Heather Clark 06:04
Yes, yeah. beautifully. Thank you for that, because it gives us a lot of different directions we can go and first of all, I don’t think that I’ve ever heard anybody talk about wielding resilience. I am in love with this, right? Cuz, cuz the whole adversity is an opportunity.
Heather Clark 06:26
Yes, that really goes along with my belief that everything is happening for you. I love talking about staying in the present. The The only way out is through like I love all of that. And could you give us some more tangible examples of ways that you suggest for people or maybe you’ve done it yourself, to really begin to wield the resilience in a way that completely supports them wherever they’re, again,
Adena Sampson 06:51
that really starts with acceptance. And I know that that’s something that we may have a different definition on. When we say acceptance. In my mind, it’s not necessarily that everything’s going great, or that we’re okay with what is happening.
Adena Sampson 07:06
I think it’s really just making peace that it is happening, which was really hard for me for quite some time, especially because of my let’s say, type A personality, right? Some of us who may have a certain way we’d like to go about things or there’s certain way we see things, a big part of when I’ve suffered from my severe chronic illness, and my excruciating heartbreak, financial devastation. I mean, a lot of times, we might go through one of these things at a time, I went through all three, and not just once, twice, but three times over. It was no matter how much I fought to not want to experience where it was, I was.
Adena Sampson 07:43
That’s where I was. And the harder I fought, the worse it got. So for me, surrender wasn’t so much giving up. Because unfortunately, we’re taught to that surrendering and accepting what is surrender is used in the context of war, which means we wave a, you know, a flag and we surrender.
Adena Sampson 07:58
No, no, no, it’s actually the way I see it is pure strength. It’s not giving up. It’s giving over it’s giving in. It’s saying that, that maybe the way I see it is not the way it’s supposed to be. And like you said, If everything happens for a reason, then it’s our job just to figure out what is that reason? How are we? What’s our purpose? How have we come to serve?
Adena Sampson 08:18
What are we learning from this moment, even in the pain in the chronic pain, which makes it even harder, because if you’re experiencing any type of chronic pain, you get into the cycle that you can’t get out of, and it’s the worst in the world, I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, buddy. And the way I got out of it was one step at a time, was one little thing at a time was one moment at a time in this moment.
Adena Sampson 08:40
This is where I’m at this is how I’m feeling. How can I shift my perspective? And I think, let me give you a tangible example. So let’s talk about the present moment. A lot of times, it’s easy for us to be so distracted in this society that is just non stop, go, go go. And if we don’t go, what does that mean?
Adena Sampson 08:57
We place meaning on what we believe success is, which is also another place we need to start, right? My number one principle in the book is shift your perspective because I had to shift my perspective. And what I thought success was to realize that success is so much more than what we’ve defined it to be.
Adena Sampson 09:19
Okay, I even have a story at some point, I can tell that there was a huge aha moment for me years ago, where I realized that my smile made somebody’s day. That sounds kind of you know, small thing, but I was I was not well, I wasn’t able to do the work that I was there to do. I wasn’t able to speak I wasn’t able to put my words together and I I was doing something that you know, I at the time I was judging.
Adena Sampson 09:42
Right, that wasn’t good enough. And I had strangers on the street remind me that just a smile can make someone’s day that it made their day that in that moment I was doing God’s work. In that moment, the universe was saying, Hey, this is it. This is success, everything else that you thought was not necessary.
Adena Sampson 09:59
So I began to really break things down into moment to moment, this is where I’m at. If I got up and I was able to get outside, that was a good day, right? There was a littlest thing. If I’m there being present with Heather right now I’m here with Heather, because I don’t have this moment.
Adena Sampson 10:15
Again, if I’m in my own way, I need to sit there and wash the dishes, take a shower, or do the laundry, do something else, where I can be mindful just in the mundane basic tasks, which have really helped me. So I’m not thinking about any other, even when my mind is wandering in those tasks, I’m focusing back to the task at hand, I’m washing the dishes, I’m doing the laundry, to give my mind a break.
Adena Sampson 10:41
Of all the stuff that that is really, I think gets in our way, right? The stuff that is really just filling up the space instead of being present in the moment to realize, here’s where I’m not, here’s what I’m doing. And this is going to help me move forward. So I hope that that’s helpful in some way, shape, or form I, I broken it down quite a bit in the book. And, you know, just not always easy to do here.
Heather Clark 11:04
No, that’s been helpful. And I love how that dovetails so elegantly, because that’s essentially how to shift out of stress. Stress is all about perception. And if you can shift your perspective, you necessarily shift your perception. And so many times the stress at that point simply evaporates.
Heather Clark 11:23
And you get to see Oh, here is the value. I’m putting on this. Here’s the valence, I’m balancing this negative, like I’m making this experience negative when in fact, what if it’s simply an experience? What if I’m moving through it? Oh, and I noticed I’m not right. And actually, like you said, it’s a choice isn’t?
Adena Sampson 11:39
Really what you’re saying is it is a choice in every moment. And I think that’s a big part of what I like you said, express on multiple levels. It’s not that it won’t happen, it will now when it does, you have a choice, and the next moments the next moment, so even the next moment, you can make a different choice.
Adena Sampson 11:55
It’s okay. And I think that really alleviates the pressure to that there is no perfection, you’re not going to get it right right away. You can practice It’s okay. And as you practice, like anything else, it’s going to get easier, you’re going to be able to choose a lot more. You know how to shift your perspective in these moments a lot easier. Yeah,
Heather Clark 12:15
I love that. So I’m dying to know, what is your origin story? How did you come to be doing this work? How did you come to write your book,
Adena Sampson 12:23
tell us about the origin story. It’s something I’ve used to in the book, really just under a chapter called embrace your vulnerability is one of the principles because I also believe that’s a big thing that we sometimes lack right now in society, is the vulnerability the the like the surrender, we think it’s a weakness, when in fact, it’s the very thing that is actually a thread that connects all of us.
Adena Sampson 12:46
As such an isolated society right now is so much that is we are divided by it’s the one thing that actually builds trust builds relationship is the embracing the vulnerability. And I bring that back to the origin story. And as such as that, for example, my whole life. And I get to share this, which is vulnerable for me, but I thank you for this opportunity. I always I was told I was too sensitive. You Oh, you’re so sensitive. Oh, don’t take things. So personally, right?
Adena Sampson 13:12
Now, as I grew up as a child, like many of us do, we hear things we take it on. And again, it’s not our fault. It’s not even our parents fault. Okay, we grow up, we pass down so many traits. Beyond physical reach, we pass down our belief systems, right? And not just with the familial, but also through schooling, you name it.
Adena Sampson 13:31
So a lot of times we pick up things that aren’t the truth. Let’s talk about what the truth is, we are good enough. We just Unfortunately, most of grow, most of us grow up taking all of the things that weren’t ours to begin with. And then having it be unfortunately, a bit of an identity crisis that we have to work through. So mine was I’m too sensitive. And somehow that’s a problem. I’m too intense. Oh, you’re so intense, right? Well, when I finally was able to reclaim those pieces and say, Hey, Yes, I
Adena Sampson 14:00
- I’m only doing this because this is my superpower. You talked about, you know, origin story, kryptonite, we talked about it as what we see in these, you know, superhero stories. And it’s great because each story has this beginning, middle and end and something that this character is going through.
Adena Sampson 14:17
So what I went through was one realizing I had to really go back to understanding what my beliefs were what I was carrying around in my adulthood that no longer serve me from childhood. Although a big part of that was that I got severely ill I got extremely sick, probably because I was seeking validation outside myself in some way shape or form, because I thought my sensitivity maybe was a curse instead of a gift.
Adena Sampson 14:42
So it was a journey. I went on this journey to actually come back to reclaiming the very power that I did not know I was giving away. Even with some of our personalities. For me, it was very subtle. How was I given it away? I had no idea I even had some codependency issue.
Adena Sampson 14:57
That’s okay. I was not aware of it. So my journey first and foremost was getting extremely ill, but not just with something that the doctors can say, this is what you have, and this is what we’re going to do. I was misdiagnosed for five years before I was diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease, which still the CDC doesn’t fully recognize there’s some controversy out there.
Adena Sampson 15:19
Okay. And I say that in the best light, I absolutely believe that Western medicine is doing what it’s doing, and especially in times like these, where we absolutely need it, and it’s critical. And I also believe that there are people like myself, let’s just say deemed mystery illness, autoimmune issues.
Adena Sampson 15:36
Okay. Very much like the COVID long hollers, we’re seeing this cytokine storm, right? What is that? That’s your immune system going haywire, right. And for many of us who have suffered with lupus, MS, chronic Lyme disease, you name it, we have dealt with this chronic inflammation and cytokine storm long before COVID came to pass.
Adena Sampson 15:54
So I say this, because this is a big part of also why I’m here now. I thought I had missed my boat, Heather. I thought that because I was so sick in bed, watching my life go by whatever, while everyone else was living, there’s that maybe I’d missed my boat. Maybe what I thought was to be Heather was not supposed to be and how did I make peace with that within myself? How did I continue to work when I was unable to work?
Adena Sampson 16:18
When cognitively I couldn’t put my words together. And as you can see, I can speak you know very well with you right now I couldn’t put my words together. I was had full fevers, full migraines constant, you know, 24, seven pain that I would never ever wish upon anyone that wasn’t just physical. Because it became a PTSD.
Adena Sampson 16:39
It became Oh, it’s all in your head. How many doctors I went to that pretty much didn’t have to say it, you could tell they were saying it. Family members, people who, again, who I love and who didn’t know any better and, and it’s not their fault, but they are literally looking at me like, Well, where’s your proof? Why do your tests say this, and you were experiencing this.
Adena Sampson 16:58
So that’s a big part of my journey and what that was like for me to take back my power and realize that nobody outside of me was going to give me the love that I was seeking. Because I wasn’t even realizing I was seeking it. And that in order for me to heal, it wasn’t that I created that I got Lyme disease.
Adena Sampson 17:17
Of course, that was something that was external than when internal, but my makeup, my emotional aspects to how I grew up. And what it is I felt maybe I was looking for showed up in my relationships, you know, I’ve had a lot of dysfunctional relationships. That’s an honest thing. And I was working that out through Okay, this is what I knew of love.
Adena Sampson 17:37
And this is now what I’m recreating. And this is also keeping me sack right in these relationships and the dynamics that don’t no longer serve me. So when you ask how it is I got to where it is I am today. It’s been a 12 year journey, fighting for my life, trying to figure out where I belong and how to show up. And having to put aside the very work that I loved to do.
Adena Sampson 18:00
Because I wasn’t able to do it. You know, music saved my life. I’ve always also been blessed to have that as a coping mechanism, something that I had an outlet for when I was a kid. And thank goodness, because when I couldn’t work, all I couldn’t do was say I got to get back into music, slept all day went performed, nobody would have had any clue. And the only time I wasn’t in pain was for those three to four hours.
Adena Sampson 18:23
While I was on stage almost like an altered state where I was channeling again, the only way out of Sue, I really believe a big part of the coaching, the speaking the writing the singing, it’s the same
Adena Sampson 18:36
element, it’s my voice, right? I’m realizing that my unique ability and my gift is to express whether that’s through writing, speaking, singing, that I was sitting there doing and being on purpose. In a time and place where I didn’t plan this I didn’t plan any of even getting back into music.
Adena Sampson 18:54
And what has brought me here is the ability to express this the fact that I’m even as well as I am today was partly because the pandemic came along and I was able to tell my story that has been boxed up for so long inside of me not for any other reason but to let other people know that you are not alone.
Adena Sampson 19:13
Whatever you’re going through right now. Okay, however you’re experiencing it right now you’re not alone. I’ve been there. Here’s how I’ve done it. Here’s how I’ve gotten myself out of it. Here’s where I’m still at meaning it’s still a daily practice I will not claim expert or not that I do not still deal with these decisions and choices daily because I do and so I guess when I say I thought I missed my boat, the pandemic came along and I realized No I didn’t miss my boat.
Adena Sampson 19:40
This is why I came. This is why so many of us came now I can sit here and say that everything has not been for not and I can sit here and support others to realize that they can to that their origin story. What is their superpower Okay, what what is their my sensitivity is my superpower my empathy. My ability to, to feel for others so I can express and support them.
Adena Sampson 20:04
And to break through these limiting beliefs, right to to say, this is who you are, this is your authentic self, let that shine through no more masks no more trying to be somebody or not be who it is you are, and let everything else fall away. So it’s not so much the work I do is not so much what we’re going to add on. But really what we’re clearing away and making room for.
Adena Sampson 20:26
So the true you can shine. And before I end this, I know it’s another long winded I have to say, most of us get stuck there because there is a fear, if I change or if I let’s rephrase that, if I am who I am, which is what I thought wasn’t accepted, then I’ll lose the people. I love the people around me. And Yes, you may. And many times it must happen uncomfortable as it is because then you’re able to seriously and truly reflect the vibration of who it is that you are to be met.
Adena Sampson 20:58
So a big part of my underlying issue too was I believed I was never going to be met, then I kept attracting circumstances and people that could never meet me until I realized, whoa, whoa, whoa, now I expect to be met, not from an ego place from a place of I know my worth, I notice who I am the beauty of my uniqueness that makes me me and all my quirkiness.
Adena Sampson 21:19
And and this is it, take it or leave it like it or not. And that’s okay. And I really, really work with people so they can understand who their authentic self is. Because it’s not that they don’t have it, it’s an eight with an each and every one of us. It’s about tapping into and tuning into that. And just building upon that every moment of every day, including, you know, during this pandemic, you know, again, it’s not easy, but it is absolutely worth it for anyone that’s willing to go on the journey. So.
Heather Clark 21:52
So I think we’re soul sisters. I love that so much. Like, when I got sick, mine was extreme adrenal fatigue. Yours is chronic Lyme disease, someone else’s as some other autoimmune thing, like our stories, I am so struck with how there are so many features of your story in my story that are very similar. And how many people out there are hearing Oh, my goodness, that’s what happened to me, that’s happened to me.
Heather Clark 22:22
That’s what happened to me. Like thanks Western medicine, you’re not equipped for this. And, oh, really, the underlying issue was some denial of some part of my essential solution. And the way to come out of it, is to simply embrace it. I love it. One of the things I think is really interesting that came to me as you were sharing is when we have these superpowers.
Heather Clark 22:50
And I believe that everybody has at least one superpower. But what I’m struck with, it seems like the way you found yours was the way a lot of people tend to find it. And that isn’t by like, Oh great. I’ve got this superpower. And that’s amazing. It’s more, what is creating the biggest issue for me?
Heather Clark 23:09
What is society or the people around around me making most raw? And it sounds like one of the things that was up for you was your sensitivity. You’re too sensitive? Because I have heard that before so many people listening to this have heard that before? Well, really, it means many other things. But often it’s Oh, you’re highly intuitive, you’re really tuned in. And that’s simply creating discomfort for someone else.
Heather Clark 23:35
So they wanted to make you wrong about it. And I just think that’s a really curious way. And I wonder the people you work with? Is that how they’re really finding their superpowers? Or do they have a different entree into that
Adena Sampson 23:49
there’s a little bit of a mix. I think part of what I walk people through as far as an exercise, even you know, through that piece in the book, mainly because I this is the way I found mine in a way that is not necessarily glaring at you, right.
Adena Sampson 24:04
And if it is, it’s just because again, we haven’t shifted our perspective enough to realize, wait a second, just because we’re being told that something is uncomfortable for someone else, doesn’t mean that that is uncomfortable or wrong for me. And we’re trying to mold into something that we’re not, which is part of the problem to begin with. And I think we do that overall on a blanketed level.
Adena Sampson 24:25
Because our biology, our unique biology is to belong, right? That that’s something key and imperative. And so I think that even the strongest of us with the strongest of personalities, who maybe don’t go with the grain or might have a rebellious streak, will still find that there’s this subtle, underlying issue that we have bought into this belief.
Adena Sampson 24:49
And again, people are saying this, I don’t believe to be mean it’s just because they’re uncomfortable because we’re not taught to really sit with our feelings. We’re really not taught this in school. We’re not taught How to love ourselves. You hear that all the time? What does that mean? Just love yourself?
Adena Sampson 25:03
Well, there’s one thing to have an awareness of just love yourself. And then to fully embody what that means, which means practicing self care strategies and methods, speaking up for yourself when you know people are going to maybe not listen, not like it, especially those close to you. setting boundaries, which is also a big part of what I was lacking is, hey, okay, I’m going to see this as a superpower not to just make me feel better.
Adena Sampson 25:29
Because when you realize that that is how important your intuition is, how important how many times I knew, and I saw the red flags, but but I ignored my intuition that’s on me. And when we realized that that’s a gift that I always knew it, but I was second guessing myself, I was learning how to trust myself first, before I can actually place trust in another, it’s more really trusting yourself as to the decisions you make.
Adena Sampson 25:56
And so I think that’s, that’s, that’s a really key, you know, phrase is, yes, I find that a lot of people have a superpower that doesn’t look the way they think it should. And that’s the whole point. It’s not a should, it just is what it is. And we have to make peace with that and go, Okay, what are the benefits here?
Adena Sampson 26:12
How has this served me in my life, and when we really look at that, it’s amazing how that almost shifts our perspective instantly, because we are able to see the gift alongside what we think the curse is, and then be able to make peace with it inside of ourselves enough to be more authentic, and practice that daily, and then have people around us go Yeah, like, that’s why I love you, when you ask people.
Adena Sampson 26:35
And that’s a part of the the exercise I ask people to do is when you do like a market research and you give, you know, people a call that you’ve known in business that you’ve known in relationships, people that you can say ask for an unbiased opinion, because you know, they will literally tell you the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.
Adena Sampson 26:51
There’s a theme there, there’s a theme that everybody will say, you can read people, you walk into a room and you can read people you’re so empathic, they will say the same things. And that’s also a major sign that says, that is your superpower. That’s what everybody loves you for. But nobody tells you because normally we don’t ask.
Adena Sampson 27:11
And we normally don’t do this for our fellow friends until we say, hey, this would really help me, I’m working with a coach or I’m working with somebody. And I would love to know the truth of what it is you feel about how I show up in the world. And that’s important, because once we hear it, we’re almost blown away.
Adena Sampson 27:28
You know, and then we get to go, this is the way people see me, not the way I think or project that people see me. And we get to really accept that as Oh my God, look at that love. Like, yes, yes. And that helps build the strength and resilience moving forward whenever we’re met with adversity or, or someone that thinks otherwise, let them think otherwise, because you’re being true to you.
Heather Clark 27:54
And that puts that in that new perspective. Because being able to read a room such a powerful gift, so amazing can be so helpful. The shadow side,
Heather Clark 28:04
you know, if you’re not using it consciously, as I’m imagining this, it’s, you’d be able to kind of sense what other people are feeling. If somebody is feeling like, you know, they didn’t want me to show up like that. Without the clarity. Without the consciousness around, it would be easy to draw the conclusion, I am wrong, I am doing something wrong.
Heather Clark 28:24
I am like you because you can kind of feel and sense what people are thinking around you. But with this, it’s that flip side of Okay, well, I can just read a room. And that’s their opinion. And it just kind of gives you that more stable foundation to where you’re not pulled off center. By all these things you’re picking up you’re like, Okay, well, what’s the truth? What’s true for me? And how do I choose to respond? That’s something I’ve heard you say several times, like, how do you choose to respond? How do you get a B to C, which is
Adena Sampson 28:54
very easy for those of us that are also sensitive. And as an artist, you know, as somebody who, you know, has a lot of emotions. It’s not the emotions that are the problem. our emotions are actually wonderful. wayshowers It’s, it’s a map, it’s literally like a GPS that says, hey, pay attention to me.
Adena Sampson 29:10
And I think when we start paying attention, sort of ignoring it, like we’re taught to, we realize, again, that our emotions are the gift and it’s just that it’s easy to as an empath or a sensitive to go that direction, especially when we feel others. That’s something I’ve done my whole life. And a lot of times even you’ll if you are, you know, sensitive yourself, you’ll notice the people you’re in relationship with, I’ve always had to say hey, I will always know and I can’t help that and a lot of times people can’t stand it because you know, before they do, okay, that’s the truth.
Adena Sampson 29:39
And it doesn’t make it right or wrong or indifferent. We all have our, our gifts it just looks different. And you know, not everybody is going to have this gift and that’s okay, but they might have a completely different gift that we don’t have. And that’s the whole point, isn’t it because we’re here to to co create an envy around one another.
Adena Sampson 29:55
But I think you’re right, the shadow self. I’d like to address some of that because that’s also a A lot of the work I do. And when we say shadow self, I’m sure your audience understands. But what we’re really talking about is that negative side or what we think is negative, what we think is, is just our anger. Let’s talk about that. That would be considered sometimes, you know, I think to some of the new age community, you know, a negative, I disagree. And I say that, right?
Adena Sampson 30:20
Because right, then we are now stopping the thing. That is, again, away show we’re saying I’m angry, there’s a reason why you’re angry, irrelevant of what we think the truth is not. There’s a reason it could be for your protective mechanism from when you were a kid, there’s something that you’re sensing your fight or flight that’s keeping you in that space, sometimes you’re right, we’re definitely creating it ourselves.
Adena Sampson 30:41
If we’re not well, when you’re not well, you have a tendency to react in certain ways that are out of your control, that is a truth for a lot of illness, chronic illness, you know, patients. So but I say that it’s a benefit, because I had to make peace with that I had to realize and ask myself, why am I angry?
Adena Sampson 31:00
I was really angry at myself. You see, it wasn’t so much outside of me, it was because I wasn’t trusting myself because of mistakes, I made that really, I don’t believe there are any mistakes anymore, either. If we can make peace with realizing everything happens for a reason that we’re just learning that we can address that.
Adena Sampson 31:16
And I don’t think that it’s wrong for us to be ashamed of our anger, as long as we are against some of us, we have to make sure that we’re not taking it out necessarily in a negative way towards someone else. We have to realize there’s a reason for this, and sometimes absolute necessity for it.
Adena Sampson 31:29
And so for anyone to, again, disengage with that piece of themselves, and thinking that that’s somehow a spiritual path. I would just ask that maybe there’s some, you know, maybe we could we look at that, or shift our perspective on that, because there’s so much to be gained and learned from anger in itself as the emotion as to what we’re feeling and why and how that can serve us moving forward.
Heather Clark 31:52
I completely agree with that. And in fact, that’s a huge spiritual bypass to be like, well, I’m just, I’m just not angry, the people that are actively choosing to cut themselves off from their anger. And I just like, there’s no benefit to that. Certainly, feeling anger, experiencing anger is different than from anger. It’s different than acting out. But as in one of the things that I do is I help people. And it sounds like it’s real similar.
Heather Clark 32:23
One of the things is to help people really get in touch with what are you not feeling what have you cut off? and anger often is really dangerous. And a great question is, from when you think back to your childhood, who is it that was inconvenienced by that
Adena Sampson 32:40
is so good that you said that, because then it keeps coming up again, in our relationships now and you and until you accept that though, once you accept it, you don’t tend to have that reflect back anymore? Because you tend to then attract people who are also at peace with their anger, meaning they, they don’t reject it? as much. Yes, that is such a thing that is so well done. Yes. Exactly. inconvenienced by it, but because of what reason?
Heather Clark 33:07
Yeah. And it’s usually, like I’m just calling by one of my favorite books is Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren. It’s magical. It’s amazing. listeners, if you haven’t gotten it, I highly recommend it. And I agree with her perspective, that anger is actually a signal to reestablish a boundary.
Heather Clark 33:26
And that’s part of the reason why when people recover from burnout, once you’re able to get angry, we’re off to the races, man. Like everything gets a lot easier, because multiple reasons. Number one, you’ve you’ve stopped freezing that emotion. So you’ve got that energy again. But also it’s helping people reestablish the boundaries, and especially a boundary of No, this is who I really am. And that beautiful and divinely perfect feel about it. How Yes.
Adena Sampson 34:05
It’s so true boundaries are our key, again, a big part of what I didn’t realize I didn’t have for those of us that care about others, we have a tendency to give our power away by not having strong boundaries in place. Again, sometimes it can come from people pleasing, sometimes it’s a lot more subtler than that.
Adena Sampson 34:19
We don’t even realize that’s how we kind of grew up and how we’re ingrained to respond to whether we’re dealing with narcissism or codependency or both, depending on whether or not we’ve had, you know, interesting, you know, aspects in our lives and roles that were played out that that kind of are developed for us when we’re younger. Again, we’re placed in a family dynamic.
Adena Sampson 34:40
Sometimes we’re the scapegoat. Sometimes we’re the golden child. It depends on the familial aspect, but a lot of this is not our fault. However, it is our responsibility at some point, when we realize we that maybe we want life to look different or maybe something’s off to look at. Okay, we’ve got to go backwards to look at what took place to shift perspective and understand the beliefs that were ingrained.
Adena Sampson 35:02
So we can understand what is serving and what is what is not. And I think what you just said is such, it’s such a big key to is, is that that’s how I found out, you know that who I was angry at myself for not having those boundaries for having a lot of that like feeling like I was walking on eggshells for so long and understanding why, because I didn’t quite understand why.
Adena Sampson 35:21
And I think it’s also hard when you’re dealing with the feeling of those that you love on where that boundary lies to on whether or not they’re even aware of how they’re showing up in life, how that’s affected them and the family. And at large, a lot of times, they’re not aware they’re not going to be and that I’m not saying that people can’t change, we’re all about that. That’s why we’re here.
Adena Sampson 35:41
However, as you know, we have to be willing to do our own work. And for those of us that care, we cannot do work for others around us. And I kept that even, you know, I could never be a coach today, if I also didn’t really learn that lesson that I only work with people who are already on the path saying this is where I’m not, I have an awareness that these are some of my self sabotage, or this is where I’m at, and I’m willing to do the work because otherwise it’s a null and void.
Adena Sampson 36:05
There’s no point. And that’s okay. That’s what they’re choosing. But but the growth doesn’t work that way. It’s it’s an inner inner job. And it’s saying, okay, yes. You know, I’ve got a segment
Adena Sampson 36:16
underneath that that part of my book, that’s the power of No, we talk about, you know, I used to say yes, and yes, all the time, years and years and years ago, back in college, until I realized that I was saying yes, all the time that I couldn’t say yes to everyone all the time. And why was it that I was saying yes, all the time. I need to say no. And it’s okay. If people don’t like me, right?
Adena Sampson 36:35
Oh, my goodness, what people aren’t gonna like me, it’s an awful feeling, right? It’s that that fear of, they’re not going to like it. And most of the time when you start putting up your boundaries, I think we prep people for this, don’t we, Heather, is that people aren’t going to like it, you’re going to rock the boat, and you have to be ready for that. You really do.
Adena Sampson 36:53
But once you’re able to get that started, it really becomes so much easier, right? Like you said, and it opens up, like the amazing people that show up in our lives are people who can handle it, who can meet you. And it’s just this amazing feeling of Yeah, this work is is is meaningful.
Adena Sampson 37:09
And here’s where I’m at today. It may not be overnight and may not be in 30 days, it might be in you know, 12 weeks, it definitely will be in six months to a year, you will see the shifts in your life in the reflections of those around you absolutely. 100%
Heather Clark 37:27
Oh, yeah, completely. And especially one of the, one of the thoughts that’s often helpful for people when they’re like, Oh, my God, it feels like it for real feels like I’m gonna die if I say no. Because, you know, we’re wired for belonging. And then we mistake fitting in for belonging. So it just feels like I’m just gonna lose everything. So one question I like to ask people is, if they’re upset that you say no, and you’re risking the relationship? Do you really want to be with people who only want you for what you can do
Adena Sampson 38:02
realizing that in that moment, like I did, while people really only want something from you? And it seems like this is a similar pattern? Yeah. However, I allowed it,
Adena Sampson 38:11
I didn’t realize I was allowing it. So it’s easy for us to point the finger outside until we realize okay, but since we’re two people, there’s always something to learn. How am I being a part of this? And most of the time, it’s that way we’re unaware of, hey, we’ve got that underlying rhetoric, that fear and also that, that that lack of boundary or what will happen when I do and the sooner we get to it, the sooner we can realize,
Adena Sampson 38:37
Wow, thank God, I’ve I’ve made this choice and say no more, this is the way it is. And this doesn’t mean that you’re not willing to grow because you’re clearly doing your work. It’s also being Aren’t you worth being with somebody who’s also choosing to do the same thing? And yes, it’s not as I would you say, as we know, there’s a smaller percentage, okay, we do understand that, which also makes it harder because once you’re on the path, it’s kind of you can’t really look back.
Adena Sampson 39:02
So once you’ve sorted your path, it’s sometimes you know, people say ignorance is bliss. And I never really understood it until more recently, where I’m like, Well, now I really understand because once you know all this in and start to practice all this, you really just you have to keep going there’s really no other way.
Heather Clark 39:23
Exactly, but sometimes people mistake me and I’m guessing they mistake you as well in that, you know, when I draw the boundary, then I, you tend to lose that relationship. Not always, because I’m guessing you’re like me and the people you work with are leaders, whether they realize it or not.
Heather Clark 39:40
So it’s an opportunity that helps them when they ask that person like okay, it it’s almost as if you only like me for what I can do that I don’t simply like you for all you can do. Would you like to have a conversation with that? And the people that are like Well, I don’t know No, that’s somebody you can work with. That’s somebody who has the real potential to configure and come right along with you. And if they don’t, right, that’s okay, too. But now it’s like you know where to invest your energy. And you know, we were so right what you just said, it’s really what you said right there,
Adena Sampson 40:18
you are now choosing, like we talked about before, it’s a choice in the moment. And this again, I think, sometimes people separate business and personal relationships. Now you and I both know, there’s no separation. So I think it’s important to realize whatever is happening in your business is also happening in your personal relationships, and vice versa.
Adena Sampson 40:35
There’s this bleed through and you will see that shift, you know, even Okay, even prior to the New Year, let’s just give an example, an example during this pandemic, and trying to build out some of what I was building out. And in my business, as I was putting down these boundaries, and really making some bigger shifts in my life, realizing that there’s certain things I’m not going to do anymore, out of the self care, I was shown a great example through a business side of things prior to the New Year, right.
Adena Sampson 40:59
And I was working on myself so much that even after the new year, I was already attracting different things. And I was prior to the new year, when I made the plans with this original, you know, person, let’s just say,
Adena Sampson 41:10
Now, here’s what I realized. I’m the type of person that I like to give the benefit of the doubt, I really do. Okay, I care about people, I think people deserve it. And I think that’s important to still do. However, once twice, three times over, there should be a word done, meaning don’t give somebody to too many opportunities to not meet their deliverables.
Adena Sampson 41:28
And I felt that that’s what I had done when I knew halfway through that the delivery, look, the the deliverable was not being met. That’s a tongue twister. I should have just said, okay, it’s not personal. Thank you so much. It’s business. I appreciate this. But this was our agreement. It didn’t happen.
Adena Sampson 41:42
And I have to move forward. I didn’t, I gave him another chance. Which was not that was okay. Except for I realized, what where I went wrong. I took my power back to realize, here’s what you could have done. So next time, you’ll do a different and but by the time I had changed that the next person I worked with was amazing. I mean, met my deliverables couldn’t be more on par.
Adena Sampson 42:04
Because I had realized in that moment how I was showing up what my part was, instead of blaming the other person that didn’t get it done, right. No, no, no, what am I allowed, and then made a different choice and attracted the very person who was not only Ahmed’s method deliverable, but did it in a bigger, better way. That just blew me away. I mean, amazing. So I think that’s a great example, to catch ourselves. Yeah, to make those changes. And then to see how that shows up in our lives. Because it happens so fast. I
Heather Clark 42:37
love it. So you saw it, you received the feedback, you Reclaim Your power. You acted, you reestablished a boundary and you did so in a way that did not blame the other party like this doesn’t need to be a good or bad situation like this didn’t work. Yeah, me No hard feelings. You moving on? No big deal. No hard feelings, no big deal. Go forth and be successful elsewhere. Great.
Heather Clark 43:00
And I’m guessing that when you did that, in business that probably opened up things in personal life, it’s also possible that, you know, parking spaces, were easier to get all this stuff. Exactly, you get Rockstar parking, like, obviously, you know, I’m a row. But that’s, and it’s just simply more feedback, that that is an aligned action for you. And I just love it, that you’re hearing it, you’re listening, you’re tuning in, and then you’re able to let lead and guide
Adena Sampson 43:30
us and this is not this year, right? This has been for many, many, many years, it’s just that this is what I think it’s important to let people know it’s never ending. So it doesn’t matter where you’re at now, or where you were, if you’re committed to your growth, you’re always going to have opportunities to see this.
Adena Sampson 43:44
It’s just that you get better at seeing them. And so things end up manifesting or happening just a little faster, actually, which is the fun part about it. Right? You talked about fun earlier, rather, like how can we have fun with this? Well, again, it’s about the shifting perspective, it is fun when you’re realizing that the shifts that you’re making are actually showing up bigger, better, faster.
Adena Sampson 44:02
And you know, in these moments and when they’re not, that’s okay, too, because it just gives you another opportunity to go Okay, am I feeling resistance here? Where am I feeling resistance? And it doesn’t always have to be I think people are afraid because they’re a fear. There’s a fear of having an argument with somebody writes a fear of expressing what they’re going to feel because people will always like it.
Adena Sampson 44:22
And you’re right, they won’t but here’s the difference when you know that you’re showing up doing what you believe is the right thing when you’re communicating clearly and irrelevance of relationships, business or not that your professional about the communication.
Adena Sampson 44:35
You cannot control the way the other person responds. Or if their leadership material or if they’re even aware most of the time of how they’re responding you can only go Okay, that’s that great. We don’t need that next. You get to choose now and not take it on as it is something about me I’m wrong. All of this is my fault, right?
Adena Sampson 44:57
But that’s just not the truth. There’s only so much that We can do, which is just our part. And as long as we’re honest about how we’re showing up in the moment, because sometimes we’re not perfect either, then we can gauge that and just say, Okay, this person’s probably not aware that they only call me whenever they want something just from me that it’s a one way street.
Adena Sampson 45:16
But now that I’m aware of that, I can say thank you for the part that you’ve played in my life. And I may not say this to, you know, we might not always express this, because let’s be honest, Heather, not everybody does allow room for that type of leadership conversation, they do not. And that’s okay. And that doesn’t mean you even have to, again, we talk about a season a reason a lifetime, right?
Adena Sampson 45:35
It’s true. Sometimes people come into our lives for whatever reason that is, but it’s not forever. And then we tend to notice that it’s not working out. And we just need to say thank you, I’m so grateful for the role that you’ve played, even if that’s inside of our, you know, inside of us, and then move forward with grace, there doesn’t need to be no hard feelings.
Adena Sampson 45:54
So it’s just saying, I am choosing not to have you sit at my table right now. I’ve cleared the way for different people to meet me and sit at my table. And that is all about, you know, reclaiming your power.
Heather Clark 46:09
It isn’t when people hear reclaiming your power. I think at least in the long past, I was like, Well, what does that even mean? Does that mean? There’s going to be a lot of fighting with people to struggle and get it back, though?
Heather Clark 46:21
No, it’s actually quite simple. It’s just just drop, what doesn’t work for you pull it back to you, and then make a new choice from that new perspective, that new place from where you actually are, which is your surrender and accept what is it’s, it’s just it can be so elegant. And it doesn’t have to burn bridges. Sometimes it’s appropriate,
Adena Sampson 46:46
but it doesn’t know because you’re right, it’s not again, so a big part of I have the four pillars of poise I talked about and it’s presence, power, passion, purpose. However, when we talk about power, since you mentioned reclaiming your power, I actually talk about how I believe that power is, I want to want to say it’s misunderstood.
Adena Sampson 47:03
But it’s defined differently than the way I see it. And the way I see it is the power is within you, meaning it’s not power hungry, or we’re going to fight because I have to say, yeah, I’ve got a little spunk in me. I’ve been known to fight a few things in my life. And I realized that it was about letting go of that it was about everything that I met with some sort of fight was exactly what then I was attracting.
Adena Sampson 47:25
And so like you said, it’s not about the fight or external power, it’s about letting go going within and reclaiming what you do have control over. So that we are not thinking that somehow we’re just playing a role that we have no like that. We’re just somehow on a whim here in life. No, no, no, you’re right.
Adena Sampson 47:46
We can’t control what is necessarily thrown at us. But again, reclaiming your power is all about, well, how can I then respond? Or how do I shift my perspective? Or how do I then put the ball in my court with what I can work with, which is where we get the peace, the peace that all of us longing for, and we wonder how we’re getting to that piece. It’s not a piece that’s every moment of every day.
Adena Sampson 48:06
It’s a piece that comes with really just being at peace with who you are, first and foremost. And then just trying to stick with that authenticity of that beingness not the do we miss? Not the what we’re expected to do, or what we’re taught is more important, or what is successful.
Adena Sampson 48:21
It’s just, this is who I am, this is where I’m at. I’m committed to my growth, great. It’s different than somebody that says, This is why I’m not willing to change, which is a lot of people under let’s let’s be clear, let’s be clear, and that’s okay. But we get to choose how much do we want to spend time with them? And where do they do they get to sit at the table? Or do they not? And that’s again, where the ball is in our court? Right? That’s where that’s the power? You know, isn’t our isn’t our court?
Heather Clark 48:49
Yeah, and I agree that is the, in my opinion, the old way of viewing and seeing power. It’s like I am right, you are wrong. I am inflexible. I have all of the toys I have all of it like whatever that isn’t. That isn’t what it actually is. It’s probably not what it never was. But it certainly isn’t any more That one’s coming more from force.
Heather Clark 49:10
This is just a true power like, no, this is where I’m at. And I maintain the flexibility. Like when you take in new information, it makes sense. Sometimes that new information is going to change your mind. It’s going to change your perspective. That’s the vulnerability that you were talking about at the top of the podcast here and how crucial that is.
Heather Clark 49:30
And then how much strength and fortitude to like, actually let yourself be vulnerable. Let yourself stand amongst all of your beautiful boundaries. And I it’s just such it’s the type of power that I find the most attractive because who doesn’t love that it’s powerful, but not in front. I
Adena Sampson 49:52
think this is really important when we circle back around to why that’s important. Now more than anything with what everybody is going through during a pandemic which is on the Expected is that not? It’s adversity, right? It’s obstacles. Yeah, things that make us go Hmm. Right, just like you said,
Adena Sampson 50:06
that vulnerable space that is uncomfortable, but it’s really a courage are talking about, which is the way I see it is it’s extremely courageous. And we all have that ability within ourselves, it is courageous to say,
Adena Sampson 50:19
Okay, I’m not quite sure. I don’t know. And that’s okay. And that vulnerability of where we’re at not knowing what tomorrow brings, let’s be clear, we are all in the same boat, period, we don’t know how long this is going to last. You can see even from the way this has happened globally, and how we’ve dealt with the issues, we are still unaware.
Adena Sampson 50:41
And this is not just the average person, this is the medical field, this is this is everybody is learning, we’re figuring it out as we go. And there’s nothing wrong with that, again, that doesn’t give us the stability that we want. Because we that’s, again, a shift in our perspective is, hey, we want stability, because this makes us comfortable. Absolutely.
Adena Sampson 51:02
But if we realize that that’s just not the way life works, then already we’re we’re putting things moving things in our favor. Because if we’re, if our expectations are set up, right, we’re not having you know, expectations that are really you can’t ever really meet, then you’re already cutting yourself some slack, hey, it’s okay to feel this way.
Adena Sampson 51:21
And if anybody else is not talking about it, it’s because they’re not talking about it. That doesn’t mean you’re the only one feeling the way you’re feeling, which is I’m unsure of how to navigate my life right now, I’m not quite sure if I can go out or go in or some people have different immune systems and abilities to be out at work versus working at home, people are taking care of loved ones that have autoimmune issues right now.
Adena Sampson 51:43
And again, I don’t I’m not going to do anything where we’re making anything political, I think it’s about caring for yourself and your fellow man as if it were yourself and just doing whatever it is that that is helpful to keep us moving forward in the direction that we can hopefully save lives and and, you know, navigate through all this together.
Adena Sampson 52:03
It doesn’t always stay this way forever. It’s not it’s not forever, it’s just for now. And I say that to myself a lot. It’s the only way I’ve gotten through this. It’s it’s not forever. It’s just for now, even though sometimes for now it feels like forever. Exactly.
Heather Clark 52:20
But so one of the things that you talked about earlier was community, and how important community is. And you may have heard this before, but especially in functional medicine spaces, its connection is considered a nutrient. And community, when built in a way that really works for you is so supportive. How are you finding the ability to stay connected and stay in community? And what are some challenges?
Adena Sampson 52:51
And what have you noticed is helping yourself or others overcome those challenges? I think it’s been prior to COVID. Like I said, I already had a bit of an issue with with a lot of isolation, okay, so I wasn’t that wasn’t foreign to me Never comfortable.
Adena Sampson 53:07
Although a lot of times isolation can be wonderful when we use it to our advantage to go within to do some of the work that we’ve discussed, which is why, for me, I think this is one of the best years I’ve experienced in a long time. Now I say that for a reason. Because it’s all perspective, it’s all relative, because of me finding for my life for 12 years prior, it has been
Adena Sampson 53:30
not easier. Although, with the tools, I’ve had the ability for me to really go within and do the extra work and come out and explain and express the vulnerable story so that others can be supportive if COVID hadn’t happened, I’m not sure the book or any of it would have actually happened in the timing of the way it did to give the ability for me to channel this through.
Adena Sampson 53:54
And I’m sure there are others that have had the same experience. So I’ve really taken this time to go above and beyond in my personal work in my growth to be of service in a way that I didn’t expect. I just went with the prompts and my intuitiveness and, and what was coming through that it was time to do so.
Adena Sampson 54:10
However, I have had moments especially I would say over the last even six weeks maybe because I can feel the shift in the collective and what’s happening globally. And, and it getting heavier again, with the Delta variant and things coming up around that, you know, I’ve been feeling more stuck than I ever have been a bit you know, inside.
Adena Sampson 54:27
And also, you know, I found this year. I’ve also lost some people in my life by choice even this year when I realized I’m grateful but that maybe those friendships were really not solid and I’m just I’m really guessing and knowing that so many people I’ve spoken to have had the same issue meaning it has brought us closer on many levels even though we feel like it’s written you know that we’re now just doing this, you know, via Skype or zoom or whatever.
Adena Sampson 54:58
I think there’s also been a time For us to really realize what’s important in our lives when you have not had this experience before. And you’ve been losing people now that you love and you care for, I think many of us have taken a step back to go Wait a second, what’s important here, because when everything goes crazy and haywire like this, and we lose people, what we think is important, like a cappuccino or to get on, you know, social media really is not what’s important.
Adena Sampson 55:22
It’s about your life in the moment. Have you told those people around you that you love them, that people around you? are they showing up to say, Hey, how are you? Are you getting phone calls, I didn’t get a lot. Interesting. Why was that I could say a lot of things as to why that was.
Adena Sampson 55:35
But I was so used to being the one to reach out to others to ask them how they are how they’re doing. And I’ve taken actually a backseat to step back a lot from that, that’s been my personal choice. Because I’ve realized that, again, I’m deserving to be met, where there’s an equal, give and take that my cup is overflowing when I give that I’m not giving from an empty cup.
Adena Sampson 55:53
And that there’s people who care are the ones actually checking in are the ones that are upstanding in their character, who I want to have sit at my table. And so that’s my personal experience, others may have had it look a little different. I don’t think there’s one way to go about this.
Adena Sampson 56:08
But I do think it’s just more of giving yourself not being so hard on yourself first and foremost, which in turn helps us dealing with others not being so hard on others during a time where so many I think are doing the best they can, with their lives being turned upside down to have the compassion and understanding irrelevant of what family member or what relationship may or may not be toxic.
Adena Sampson 56:33
It’s just understanding that everybody’s doing the best with what they’re able to do, or the awareness that they have in the moment. What are you choosing? How are you choosing to show up? And really just giving yourself that grace, giving yourself that I feel this way, in the moment, I’m overwhelmed, and No, I do not like it. But it’s okay, even if we don’t think it’s okay.
Adena Sampson 56:54
And if we you know, reach out to community, we do so with those that we feel we have a safe place with you know, and not everybody feels that they do though. And I think that’s where the strength comes from realizing that there’s a higher power outside of ourselves.
Adena Sampson 57:10
And when I say that, it doesn’t matter what your religion is what your belief is, it’s all good. It’s just something more than just you your higher self, that that’s what that is the universe, God, whatever that is for you to really tap in and tune in and trust on a level that you’ve never trusted before.
Adena Sampson 57:25
Because I will have to tell you that a big part of why I’m here is because of that very thing that maybe I thought I had control over that I could do that when I had to surrender or let go or not know how things were going to happen. How is going to feed myself, there’s so many reasons that I was showing the way that I was held that miracles, again, is not something that that just parts the sees, right?
Adena Sampson 57:48
I think we have this perception that that’s what a miracle is no miracles happen every moment of every day, if we know where to look, if we’re looking in the right places, if we realize that again, you know, we had an interaction with somebody, and that made their day and vice versa. That was the miracle today.
Adena Sampson 58:05
That was the miracle. Okay. And I think that that’s what’s important is staying in gratitude for what it is we do have Did you eat today? Do you have a roof over your head today? You may have heard this before, but I think so many of us, especially if we’re living in the United States, are not always aware of how rich we are.
Adena Sampson 58:23
And when I say rich, I mean, not just in our physical things that we have, which is also very big, okay, in this in this country, but also, the people around us, you know, how rich are you be grateful for what it is you have, because so many people don’t have that they didn’t have that perfect, perfect before COVID COVID.
Adena Sampson 58:44
And they don’t have that now in other parts of the country, I spoke to somebody in rural India, who found my book and was in tears and prayed to God, and it was the most amazing conversation who could barely get internet when we spoke. how grateful we are for the fact that you and I can speak right now and have full internet.
Adena Sampson 59:00
These are little things that are big things. And if we shift our perspective and stay in gratitude, that is one of the biggest ways I believe that we can get through what it is we’re going through right now is a you know, get out of the ego. cut yourself some slack, which then in turn does does that for your fellow human beings because what we and how we are do ourselves is what we reflect and how we, you know, show up in our relationships.
Heather Clark 59:28
It’s beautiful and powerful. Thank you love that.
Heather Clark 59:33
Do you know–what’s it mean to you to be unshakable?
Adena Sampson 59:36
Great question because I love your podcast. The unshakable being you know, when you first reach out, I thought, How wonderful that again, I am in alignment with attracting the most amazing, wonderful people you and your work that you’re doing.
Adena Sampson 59:48
You know, Heather is wonderful. It’s just an honor to be here with you today that you’ve just taken the time to connect with me and what does it mean to be unshakable again? I think very much You know, this is what I’d like to attest this to, like we did in the beginning of the thing is that there’s a Zen proverb that says, obstacles are the path.
Adena Sampson 1:00:09
And I say that because I still believe that the only way out is through so to be unshakable is not to avoid going through the storm, is to find peace amidst the storm. So one of my most best quotes that I love is, life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning how to dance in the rain.
Adena Sampson 1:00:26
And I say that, like it lights me up, even as I say it, because that’s been my life like that is my experience and everything I shared with you as to what the adversity, you know, that what adversity I’ve dealt with and gone through long before COVID is that I couldn’t wait for the storm to pass to live.
Adena Sampson 1:00:44
Because all I had was the moment and I didn’t know if I was gonna live the next moment, there were so many times about three times over that I just thought that I wasn’t going to be or we knew that I was, I was about to leave. And I’m still here. So there has to be a reason, right?
Adena Sampson 1:00:56
And that reason, and all I can think about is to show up and be of service that that is the reason why we are here irrelevant. So to be unshakable means to bend to be flexible, like we talked about before, how important adaptability is that we have to bend with the wind, like the bamboo does, right? That we’re not going to be completely blown over or cracked in half.
Adena Sampson 1:01:15
Sometimes every once in a while we feel that way. And it may look that way. The important thing is that we get back up that I could have. And there were there was a moment where I think a lot of people might feel this way, too. There was a dark night of the soul moment that was so deep, that I actually felt and it wasn’t from an emotional place. It was from an actual almost like a left brain aspect that said,
Adena Sampson 1:01:37
Look, I’m not even surviving, I’m merely existing. So it makes sense that maybe that I’m not here, meaning. It wasn’t from an emotional space that I would ever I’ve never given up a day in my life. And you can tell that from my personality of who it is I am. It’s just that in that moment, it almost made more sense to me.
Adena Sampson 1:01:54
And I just want to speak to anybody that may be feeling that way right now. Because I know that there truly is no honestly there are a lot of people feeling that way. Please realize that there is a reason that you may not see right now in the moment, that through all a horrific pain that you may be feeling emotionally, spiritually, physically, even when you can’t get that relief.
Adena Sampson 1:02:12
There is a reason. There were things that got me through there were people and examples that I just looked to, there were friends that I even lost, that brought me joy that I said, you know what this is, the picture is going to be on my altar. And in the moment of my darkness, I’m going to wake up to this picture to this woman who was enjoy all the time to get me through whatever that is for you.
Adena Sampson 1:02:30
Being unshakeable meanings, is really means how are we dealing with what we are being dealt with in the moment. It’s just showing up that you keep showing up that you get back up if you’re knocked down. And that you can be more adaptable to sway with the storm with the rain, sometimes dance and if you need to, because that’s all we have is that moment.
Adena Sampson 1:02:51
So I hope that even though that’s not a direct answer, it’s more of a feeling for me. As you can see, I’m not feel person. That’s what being unshakable means this is just to keep showing up. And to be that example. I’m still here, I’m still living if I’m still alive, and I’m still standing you can do and I can I can say that.
Adena Sampson 1:03:10
Now, it’s not just hearsay. It’s not just oh, you know, I’m just saying this because it’s something you’ve heard before, it’s I absolutely know in my heart that is absolutely possible. And that you have everything that you need inside you that you can tap into, to give you all the tools necessary to get through anything that you’re getting through, and come out to the other side.
Adena Sampson 1:03:32
Third, with with actually gratitude and compassion and a whole bunch of tools that you have been wielded, like we’ve said, Grace, under pressure, you have found your grace, under pressure. And anytime something else comes up, you realize you’re able to handle it more gracefully, and people even acknowledge that you are and the only thing you have to say to that like I did when somebody said wow, I’m really amazed how graceful you handled this was me laughing going. Great.
Adena Sampson 1:03:58
And because I’ve been here before, because I’ve done something like this before because I’ve been through so much Nxd before that I can now show up a little bit more graceful because I’ve been wheeled in because I’ve been through the storm. And I’m not afraid to still be in the storm even if I do not like it because I don’t come on. It’s just that I also know the gifts that come with with going through the storm and what that
Adena Sampson 1:04:26
you know when we’ve got this beautiful calm after the storm when you when you smell that rain or you see that sun peeking through, there’s the silver lining all the time. It’s just again about shifting our perspective to actually see that the sun is shining through. And that is really made all the difference as to why I’m still here. So thank you for just having this amazing you know, unshakable being podcasts and for just being present. So present with me today. And all of my emotion, expression and passion on this subject.
Heather Clark 1:05:03
You’re welcome. And thank you for coming on this is this is truly delightful. And I want to be sure that people can find you, where if people are like I need this book, I need to know more about her.
Adena Sampson 1:05:12
So let’s just read to the book. First and foremost, it’s called the road back to me nine principles for navigating life’s unexpected twists and turns. So that’s available pretty much in every format ebook, paperback hardcover and audio book as we speak, on all online platforms. Wherever books are sold, but I think the most important thing is if anybody really wants to understand a little bit more of the work that I do, how they can get more support with the unbreakable spirit community, as well as through the book and the courses, just go to adenasamson.com
Heather Clark 1:05:49
Excellent. Thank you so much. I’ve enjoyed this immensely. This has been such as
Adena Sampson 1:05:55
that thank you, again, so much, Heather, for having me. I really, really enjoy your energy, your vibration, everything you bring to the table and I’m just so happy I could be here serving you and your audience today.
Heather Clark 1:06:09
Thanks so much for listening. I’d love to hear from you. Go to unshakablebeing.com and submit your question, comment, or topic request. May you be unshakable, unstoppable, and vibrant again. Until next time.